so it's been like 6 days since i last wrote about you moving out here. and to be honest baby, it's still really hard for me. you say that as long as you're able to move out financially and that your credits will transfer that you'll move even if your family is against it. i just don't see that happening. you have to disappoint either me or them and i really feel like in the end, i'll be the one whose upset.

it'll be hard but i'll understand. they're your family and you can't replace them. who knows how mad they'll get if you decide to leave even if it is only for a few years. i just don't see how they could be ok with it. i mean already your grandma said one day she thought it was a good idea and that she understands then the next day thinks that you're just trying to run away from your responsibilities.

gosh babe. i just don't see it happening. i don't see us being together until i move out there.

then i'm afraid you'll miss deadlines because you're not wanting to look into it until after you find out if you like it out here. i understand that babe but there's nothing wrong with applying. just because you apply doesn't mean you have to come out no matter what. sometimes i don't think you understand that. i know you want to take this slow and figure it out but at the same time i feel like if you're really serious about coming out, you'd be looking into it more aggressively.

i almost don't want to bring it up anymore because i don't want you to feel like i'm pressuring you into coming out or trying to make you look into it faster than what's comfortable for you. i don't want you to think that i don't want you to come out because i don't think it'll happen. i promise you baby i want you to be out here with me more than anything. it makes me sooooo happy that you're even considering it. but i really think that when you have to make your ultimate decision, even if you can financially come out here and your credits will transfer, that you'll decide to stay with your family. they are more important than me, and you taking care of them is more important than being with me.

but i think for a while i'm just not going to talk to you about it unless you bring it up. if you ask for my help, i'll help you. but i don't want to pressure you into doing anything. i want you to make this decision for you, not m\because it's something i want.

i love you.